Friday, November 11, 2011, 10:33 PM
Alhamdulillah, my project is running smooth. For the first 4 weeks, i was really stressed up with the filter design, that sometimes i forced myself to skip lunch, just to have it done. I really had no idea how to have it designed. After trying of thousand times and recalculating the long equations over again, i finally achieved the desired widths and lengths to suit the frequency. In which 6.85GHz as its centre and 3.1GHz & 10.6GHz as its Low and High freq respectively.
Alhamdulillah, i am on the right track. Imagine how happy i was when Dr Lim said, "Since you have aready reached this stage, then it shouldnt be any problem. You dont have to worry." Nothing else matters now, other than my project and my Telecommunication module, in which the lecturer is none other than my own supervisor, double happiness! (:
Next stop is to balance up the pass band, which means, all i have to do is to just play around with the numbers -.- Heh. After which, everything is done! Final stage is to have it sent for fabrication and then measure the Zo (:
I admire the humbleness of my supervisor. Despite having a doctorate holder, he never acted as though he is one. He made himself to be seen as a normal person, just like any other lecturers. He is more of a listener. I truly admire him. It was after school when i met him to have a look at my project. He apologized for not being able to assist me that much because of some errands he needs to be in charge of for this few weeks. I never expected that coming. Tell me which supervisor would do such thing? His thoughtfulness really shows how responsible he is. I'm blessed to be placed under him. Every mishaps that happen, definitely there's a blessing behind. Failing that core module and having to terminate my trip to China was something not easy to accept initially. I may look or sound as though i was okay with it but only Allah knows how i felt inside. I was fighting with my emotions. I thought it was the end of me. I thought everything else was gonna be useless. But now then i realized, this is the reason why. Truly there is a blessing behind it.
You know sometimes when you try to focus on other things that are much more useful and beneficial, your heart will eventually feel at ease. It has been awhile since i browsed through it. I realized my responsibility in this world has pulled me away from my responsibility for the after world. Dad was reciting it in his room. I sat beside him and we recited it together. I instantly felt the joy and the excitement as of i was still a kid. When i was younger, i would be all excited waiting for my dad to return home from work. Because every night after Isyak, he would gather us sisters and start his tutoring lesson. I love it especially the part when he translated the meaning to us. Like the story of the earthquake in surah Az Zalzalah, where the earth would be shaken and people would depart from one another, separated in categories of their deeds; good or evil. I can never forget that Surah because that was when my dad used actions to teach us, in order to make the lesson more interesting and understandable.
And then the next day, i would head over to my neighbour's place and conveyed what i have learnt to them; Lina and Atikah. They were 2-3 years younger. They were around 3-4 years old? I can never forget the first time i conveyed the story about Prophet Adam and Siti Hawa to them. I was only five but their eager eyes when looking at me while listening really inspired me and i felt like i was an adult. Ever since then, heading over to their place every morning was something i looked forward to every night after tutorials with dad. But it was sad when i have to move to Bedok, at the age of 11.
I miss my memories in Chai Chee. I feel human there even though i was very young then. Even though it wasnt big like how it is here in Bedok, but it holds memories i can never forget. The happiness, the joy, a place where i learnt how to be independent, exploring the whole of chai chee area from all sides alone at the age of 7-8, just to look for a carbon paper, with the grandparents and the neigbours searching for me. Gosh. It was hilarious. Haha. I know i can't relive it back but the memories will forever be etched in my head.
Now, i can't wait to grow up and have kids. I don't want them to repeat the same mistakes like what i have done. I want them to continue what i've been wanting to become when i was younger. Maybe it's a little too late now... maybe.. maybe.... just maybe.
Jeya/Atikah: Ain, if you have kids, will you beat your children up?
Hahahahah. Unexpected question from them. What i can foresee is that, i'm gonna love them so much like how i'm loving my little kitten. Hee. But, i'm not gonna be even a little lenient to them, no! (: That explains everything.
